Self-Liberation withInternal Family Systems
The fastest therapeutic model of our age, helping millions to wake up from their suffering younger parts. The practice is developing our innate awareness to re-embrace former pains of attachment, fears of reactivity, and confusions of identification with all pervading Love, Compassion and Wisdom.
The degree of your ability to be with your pain of resistance, attachment and confusions, is the degree of your Wisdom.
The Nature of the Mind
Rubedo · Splendor Solis, 1582 ADMany of our early challenges were not digested, as they were far too overwhelming at the time. The natural process of the mind is to compartmentalize and repress the pain into the unconscious. It also sets up protectors to keep a lock on that door, to make sure we are safe from getting overwhelmed by the emotional pain of the repressed part.
This is the nature of the mind. Burying it away into our unconscious is really helpful for our survival in the aftermath of an intense event or trauma. Without these processes we would not be resilient enough to function.
The views of these protectors will become our unconscious defense patterns, and we gradually begin to identify with them, since we keep hearing their voices as the inner voices in our head. We are no longer conscious of the repressed part, feel their pain or hear their voice. The system believes that this works in our best interest.
The Safety of Victimhood
We get identified with our protectors, as the limited voltage of the emotion they allow us to experience without a reaction, short circuits our greater light. When something triggers us, these protectors believe, that as long as the other changes their behavior, we will remain distracted from the original pain. So for them it makes perfect sense to project the fear on the other through blame, as it gives them a momentary sense of control over something they actually cannot face.
Playing the power struggle with external others distracts us, and the original wound never even comes into the scope of our awareness. For them, victimhood is the most effective defense pattern, which keeps us in the illusion of safety from the intensity of the original wound.
Until we wake up.
Qualities of our Ego & our True Nature
Notice your current experience for each pairing and move your DJ slider to the side which feels more true now. You will see the degree you are operating out of a part, or from your innate Divinity.
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SelfDiscern the source of the inner voices you hear
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SelfBlended Parts & Unblending
This is exactly the reason why it is hard to heal ourselves alone, because we are judgmental towards our disempowered parts, and we cannot look from the pure acceptance of our Self. Whenever we are judgmental, it is certain, that a protective part has blended with our current identity and we limit ourselves to its level of skillful compassion. Parts are very co-operative, as they serve the peace of your system. With skillful relating we can ask them to step back for a moment and unblend from you, to give way to the Self to embody. The moment they do, the intensity of their fear is immediately released from your body, which enables your awareness to open up. Often we have to ask a handful of defense patterns to unblend, before the loving sunshine of our Self is able to shine. One moment of pure awareness and loving acceptance from the Self can liberate our life force from their repression and dissolve the pain.
Generally, these parts operate in the unconscious and remain stunted at the age when they were formed by the system to protect an injury. Protectors are not evolving with time, they are stuck in the same situation when they were formed. As they haven’t seen the daylight of our awareness since, they still think the system is 3 years old, and still cannot process that intensity now, what our 3 year old self could not cope with at the time. These child knights need to be lovingly updated that we are adults, and are now able to handle the heat. When they are blended with you, your emotional coping mechanisms are that of a 3 year old.
Most importantly, the fear and overwhelm of the protectors is a far bigger burden on the system, than the wound they protect. Especially because their reactive projections create endless pain and suffering for others as well. The emotional immaturity of our young parts, their projections and transference of emotions are the cause of all drama in all of our lives. Once they give access to what they still believe is an unfaceable pain for us, it always always turns out to be easily felt through and released by the awareness of our Self. Once the wound is healed, the protector is also released from their burden of responsibility. Your healing and shadow work is therefore solely dependent on opening doors towards the reassuring presence of your Self, which can be practiced through the skill of unblending. This is the main aim of any meditation practice as well.
Hα prominence · photograph © Andrea VanoniShifting into this level of non-judgmental inner awareness of Self-Leadership is therefore the single most important skill for all of us. We will train in this, as the most fundamental skill for wellbeing.
Awakening into Self‑Leadership
Awakening means becoming conscious of our true identity as boundless consciousness. From that inner spaciousness we begin to become able to embrace the source of the voices in our head. We become able to discern between the voices of the mind, and the inspirations of our spirit, as detailed above. Protectors need to earn our trust, they need to feel that our awareness can handle the heat of the repressed pain they protect. No amount of rationalized arguments or criticism towards them work. Imagine if you set up a guardian knight, who could be talked into sidestepping by a silver-tongued thief pretending to be you. It wouldn’t be a very good knight.
Your higher self doesn’t do a wishy washy job either. If a lock is required, a guardian of the threshold is installed. Only the frequency of Love of your real Self, which cannot be faked by the mind, will receive access. As that is what we have set them up for. For them to guard us until we are ready to look with our awakened heart.
